October 16, 2007

First Line Contest

Filed under: Books,Culture of the Book,Off Topic,Reading,Word play — seth @ 6:51 pm

       

Like everyone else, I have ideas that I think are genius, but are subsequently destroyed by objective opinion.  I refuse to believe that any of my own ideas were originally bad.  They were made bad by contamination.  So this time, I am sending the idea into the public domain before anyone has a chance to shoot it down.  If its wings are made of wax, so be it.

Of course, this is not a new idea.  Very few ideas are.  Most of them occur on a spectrum, like a color wheel, and are simply different shades of a larger idea that has been produced by mixing small ideas together.  My idea is like that.

This idea is part meme, part writing exercise, part pop culture nonsense.

Because I sell books and waste time (although not in that order) I have stacks of books all around the house.  One of the stacks next to my computer was upended by one of our cats this afternoon.  As I was finishing the restacking job, there came the inevitable moment when I realized that, like refolding a road map, books do not re-pile in the same way they began.  As I looked at the leaning and wavering tower, I realized I had five books left in my hand.  Curious, I looked at the titles.  Here is what I had:

  • The Sudden Strangers by William E. Barrent
  • The Moon’s A Balloon by David Niven
  • Mister Smith by Louis Bromfield
  • The Accidental Tourist by Anne Tyler
  • The Walls of JoLo by Alan Caillou

So the contest has two parts.  First, if you want to try to match the first lines to their titles, please do.  Enter your guesses as comments, or e-mail them if you want.  Winners who don’t cheat will receive a sense of fulfillment and self-satisfaction.  The second, and more formal (but not really) part of the contest is to submit (via e-mail) a short written piece (no more than 250 words) that begins with one of the first lines.  If I get five or more entries, I will send you the book of your choice from the list (all are used, and either mass market paperbacks or book club edition hard covers) and post the winning entry.  Fun for you, content for me.  Here are the first lines:

  1. “There was something awesome in the silence that surrounded them.”
  2. “They were supposed to stay at the beach a week, but neither of them had the heart for it and they decided to come back early.”
  3. “This time I think I can do it.”
  4. “Nessie, when I saw her, was nineteen, honey-blond, pretty rather than beautiful, a figure like a two-armed Venus de Milo who had been on a sensible diet, had a pair of legs that went on forever, and a glorious sense of the ridiculous.”
  5. “Dorinda Day was a personality.”

Good luck.  I hope I get at least one entry.

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May 13, 2007

Looking For A Cerulean At Genesee Country Nature Center

Filed under: Birds,Off Topic — seth @ 7:30 pm

 The Sibley Field Guide to Birds of Eastern North America The Sibley Field Guide to Birds of Western North America Chasing Warblers (Corrie Herring Hooks Series) Warblers of the Great Lakes Region and Eastern North America The Genesee Country Blacksmith: Tradition and Change, 1788 -1940 Take A Hike! Family Walks in the Rochester (NY) Area (Second Edition) (Trail Guidebooks) Birding in Central & Western New York : Best Trails & Water Routes for Finding Birds

Sometimes it is good to change what you do.  Every now and then, I like to take a break from my books, tuck a Sibley’s guide and my Pentax binocs into a bag, head for a local wildlife area, and observe some winged action.  Occasionally, I like to write about it.  So today, I am writing about birding. 

On May 3rd and 4th, I chaperoned a field trip of 11th and 12th graders to the Genesee Country Nature Center in Mumford, NY.  This is the second year that I have done the trip, and have found it to be an excellent opportunity to get out and see some birds during spring migration.  Linda Bender, the Center’s director, and her staff, do an excellent job of guiding (and tolerating) the students, who got to see and study a host of nature’s creatures and habitats.  I enjoy walking through the woods with Linda as her knowledge of the Center’s wildlife and where it can be found greatly increases my chances every year of seeing a Cerulean Warbler.  As many of you know, the Cerulean becomes a little harder to find each year.  I have seen this bird only once, in Potter County, PA, and as Linda can identify Dendroica cerulea by sound as well as sight, my chances get even better.  Last year, we were within ear shot of the diminutive migrant, but failed to see the flash of blue.  This year, I set off with high hopes.

I should note, that if you find yourself approaching middle-age and are required to spend a prolonged period with twenty or so urban and suburban teenagers in an outdoor setting, it may be a good idea to do a bit of soul searching before announcing that you are wearing binoculars because you are looking for a Cerulean Warbler.  While there may be one or two in the group that are genuinely interested in your quest, and a few more that are willing to feign interest as a token of goodwill, the majority will assault you with laughter and jeers, and words like “poindexter” and “bird-nerd”.  Without a quick wit and a thick skin, it could get ugly fast.

Fortunately, natural beauty can often turn even the deepest apathy or severe disinterest into a look of wonder or a gasp of awe.  While my students did not leave the two days behind headed for a life of monastic naturalism, all were at one point or another touched by her omnipresent hand.  For some it was the sight of nestled Eastern Bluebird hatchlings as mom watched from a bat house overhead.

 

And I ALMOST got a great shot!

Some of the students were emotionally torn when, upon finding a European Starling nest laden with eggs in a box built to attract Great Crested Flycatchers, the Center’s staff pulled the nest apart and destroyed the eggs.  Some were titillated to the point of participation.

After learning about the “Fly”- catcher, many of the students found humor in my sighting of a Blue-grey Gnatcatcher, quickly gleaning the related logic for these noms de guerre.

Perhaps these interactions with avian eugenics gave the students an appreciation of feathered motherhood, as they were all quick to move quietly along when we surprised a nesting goose who was soon to be a mother (or depending on your pro-choice stance, she already was).

The kids enjoyed a close up view of a sleeping Screech Owl, which was unconcerned to the point that none of us saw an open eye.

An Eastern (Rufous-sided for those of a different era) Towhee caused some of the students to remove iPod headphones as they completed the first of several plot studies and were told to drink their tea.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lavFOsr7Ctw
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Birds were not the only wildlife on display, of course, and the kids were attracted to some of the creepy and crawly creatures like Garter Snake and Fishing Spider.

The tally for the two days included the bird species mentioned above as well as Tree Swallow and Sparrow, Purple and Yellow Finch, American Crow, Northern Cardinal, Black-capped Chickadee, Brown-headed Cowbird, Eastern Phoebe, Great Blue Heron, Red-winged Blackbird, Yellow-rumped Warbler, Cedar Waxwing, American Robin, Blue Jay, Sparrows (Field, Song, and Chipping), Mourning Dove, Red-bellied Woodpecker, Cooper’s Hawk, Red-tailed Hawk, Northern Flicker, Mallard and Wood Duck, Yellow Warbler, Ruby-crowned Kinglet, Turkey Vulture, Rock Dove, Woodpeckers (Downy, Pileated, and Hairy), a variety of Gulls, and many birds that I was too slow or too far from to identify.

You may notice at this point that the Cerulean Warbler is not on the list.  Or like me you may have forgotten the stated reason for this post as it was rightly buried and lost in the hard-won interest and curiosity of some seventeen and eighteen-year olds who signed up for a trip as a way to avoid school for two days.  We did hear the Cerulean (again!) near the end of the second day, but any regret I may have felt had lost its spot to the idea that maybe some of these kids will someday hang a backyard feeder, or stop to look at a circling raptor.  It may be enough of a hook to change some behaviors that make the Cerulean so hard for me to find in the first place.

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February 16, 2007

The Theory of Lengthwise Rolling

Filed under: Culture of the Book,Internet,Off Topic,Reading — seth @ 11:35 am

 Forensic Examination of Rubber Stamps: A Practical Guide The 2007-2012 Outlook for Bathroom Toilet Brushes and Holders in India Indiana Wine: A History  

  Blue Genes and Polyester Plants: 365 More Suprising Scientific Facts, Breakthroughs, and Discoveries Freak Show: Presenting Human Oddities for Amusement and Profit White Trash Cooking (Jargon)

Check out the following book quiz.  You are given sixteen rather esoteric and strange book titles.  One of them is fake, the rest are real.  Guess what your job is?  It is a great waste of one minute and twenty-six seconds.  Take a look at my own weird book title finds in the image links above.

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February 14, 2007

The New York Times on Saturday, February 10, 2007

 Are Men Necessary?: When Sexes Collide Bushworld The Bastard of Istanbul The Saint of Incipient Insanities: A Novel Istanbul: Memories and the City America Beyond Capitalism: Reclaiming our Wealth, Our Liberty, and Our Democracy Decision to Use the Atomic Bomb: And the Architecture of an American Myth Gears of War Limited Edition Strategy Guide The Bell Jar: A Novel (Perennial Classics) Diva Diaries Thomas Jefferson : Writings : Autobiography / Notes on the State of Virginia / Public and Private Papers / Addresses / Letters (Library of America) Alexander Hamilton: Writings (Library of America)

My wife introduced my toddling nephew to dot-to-dot drawings a few months back.  Perhaps he loves the feeling, as I used to, of starting at the beginning and having no idea what will unfold.  Then, as one reaches a certain point, the mind catches up with and then passes the crayon or pencil to complete the picture before the hand can finish.  Eventually one arrives at the developmental stage when only the dots are necessary and the picture is immediately clear.  Unfortunately, the dot-to-dots in an adult life don’t always become so clear.  When they do, they can be disturbing.

On Saturday morning, I read most of the thin New York Times purchased at Starbucks in Old Town Alexandria, Virginia.  Perhaps it was the relative nearness of the nation’s capitol, or the first day above thirty-two degrees I had seen in weeks, but the dots fell into place for me as I sipped a venti regular coffee purchased with the remnants of a Christmas gift card.  I have always wanted to teach high school history from the daily newspaper.  I would choose all the news fit to print over other papers because I always see the world holistically in the Times.  I always see the dots.

I hit the Op-Ed’s first and instantly found dot number one.  Seeing the title Heels Over Hemingway below Maureen Dowd’s name, I started there.  Dowd complains that “pink” books are invading the literature shelves of American bookstores.  By “pink”, she means fluff-filled, vapid, and superficial.  “Pink” books are laden with socializing textual candy dealing in appearance rather than substance.  Dowd even notes that some classics, like Sylvia Plath, have been repackaged to appear “pink.”  She sees the books as filled not with ideas, but with things like sipping a venti regular coffee purchased with the remnants of a Christmas gift card. 

As a high school English teacher, I feel Dowd’s pain, and agree that pink “books do not seem particularly demanding in the manner of real novels.  And when we’re at war and the country is under threat, they seem a little insular.”  I think that the reader’s of “pink” books are not the only one’s putting their heads in the sand, and Dowd provides the perfect segue to dot number two.  She notes that the reading of novels is traditionally feminine (like teaching) and that men are traditionally seen as ”creatures of action.”  So what form of sand is today’s Y chromosome set using?

One need only turn back the page of the same New York Times to find the answer.  Gears of War is the title of a popular video game that won several awards at the latest installment of the Interactive Achievement Awards.  A group of futuristic Marines fighting off a group of subterranean humanoids called the Locust Horde is the basic plot.  According to the article by Seth Schiesel, video game production brings in about $25 billion a year.

As with the “pink” books, I don’t want to sound like I’m against fun and light entertainment.  All too often, however, these things (and a host of others, of course) become a way of life for people and can be a substitute for reality.  And what is reality?  Reality is Turkey.

To find dot number three, one need only glance left on the same newspaper page, and in stark contrast to the picture of two members of the Locust Horde is the comely figure of Elif Shafak, a Turkish writer, journalist, and Social Scientist, who has been subject to prosecution and persecution for some of the things she has penned.  Reality turns out to be what happens when more and more people become apathetic about ideas and turn to superficial forms of entertainment.  They begin to ignore the world around them, and as long as someone keeps them entertained, they care little about anything else.  It is one among many things that can capture an individual, and when too many of us get hooked, people like Shafak, Orhan Parmuk, and Hrant Dink get caught in the middle.  The real battle between western and Middle Eastern culture and political ideas is being fought in Turkey, while the Americans play a live version of a video game in Iraq.

For my final dot (actually I have more, but this could go on all day) let me turn back to the Op-ed section and the archetype of the movie/video game warrior: Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Gar Alerovitz writes a very insightful piece on the need for a more Jeffersonian view of what the Unites States needs to be, and uses the Governator to introduce it.  He argues that America is too big to represented by a single Federal government.  It is too diverse.  An added problem is that a single government of this size allows for all that concentrated power to fall into the hands of a small group of people, or to be hijacked by a single ideology. 

Ideology, by the way, is another form of addiction.  Alerovitz is an interesting guy, and while he is a bit socialist for my taste, he supports private ownership in the pursuit of communal prosperity.  Too many Americans do not understand the political debate that has raged across this country’s two hundred and thirty five years and how that debate has been manipulated and framed for political and economic gain.  American pragmatism and a government based on compromise have protected the United States as well as the two oceans that caress its shores.  I’m afraid America and humanity is losing them both to elitist politicians addicted to ideology, narcissism, and money, while its citizens are sticking their heads into other sands of addiction and turning the world into Earth: Vice City by ignoring or killing the voices of reason.   People seem to be losing their ability to connect the dots.

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